WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I love you. Go after that dick
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
