So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
