You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
