She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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