They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
my poor anus
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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