she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
