Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
