oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
