I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
