We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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