Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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