I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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