Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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