it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
