You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
