i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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