Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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