just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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