So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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