I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
