You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
