she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize