Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
