I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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