Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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