come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
