the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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