i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
