I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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