Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
