Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
