I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
