I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize