Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
