It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
