Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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