marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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