I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
