he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
