i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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