Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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