I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
