That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think your dad took our porno
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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