From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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