I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
