It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
