I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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