What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
