Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
