I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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