I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she woke up with a sticky ear
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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