he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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