Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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