she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
