Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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