Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
