dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize