Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
