There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is my gift to your gina
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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