What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
