Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize