Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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