let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
operation harelip BJ is a go
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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