Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
